Why is Catholic Church Against Gay Marriage

Q: Why is the Catholic Church against gay marriage? I should have the freedom to marry whomever I want.

A: It’s evident that God created male and female to be joined together from the beginning of time. I think you should ask yourself this question: “If God intended for two females to be married (or two males) then why can’t they have children?” The Catholic Church has always recognized that marriage is between a man and a woman. Until recently all Christian churches and governments recognized this truth too.

Although we should be compassionate to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters in Christ, we cannot accept or support their choice of sexual lifestyle. Nor should we have to compromise our moral values to allow them to legally marry, or for it to be recognized by the Church.

Ashley

Catholic Church, Divorce, and Annulment

Q: My mom and dad want to come into the Catholic Church, but the priest says they can’t until my mom gets her first marriage annulled. Is an annulment like a Catholic divorce?

A: The same situation happened with my parents. They explained to me that an annulment is when a marriage is reviewed by a Catholic tribunal to determine whether or not there was something existing when the couple got married that would make their marriage null (lacking characteristics that would make it a fully blessed marriage in the Catholic Church). Divorce is a civil action. The Catholic Church does not grant divorces. An annulment is not a Catholic divorce. In the eyes of God, you are married till death do you part. However, certain conditions could be present that would have made the marriage invalid in the eyes of the Catholic Church. Therefore an annulment could be granted, and you would be free to marry in the church again.

Ashley

Do Annulments Make Children Illegitimate

Q: My parents are divorced and the Church annulled their marriage. Doesn’t that make me illegitimate?

A: This does not make you illegitimate (Canon 1137). Your parents gave birth to you while they were legally married. Even though the Church no longer recognizes their marriage as sacramental, it did exist civilly. That is, their marriage did in fact take place, but it was not fully blessed due to some problem at the time they exchanged vows.

Jenna

Holy Fellowship of the Rings

Dignity and the Sacrament of Marriage

Q: Can I go to my Aunt’s wedding that will be at the country club with only a Justice of the Peace? She is a confirmed Catholic, but not practicing right now. I don’t think I should go, but I can’t explain why. She is living with her fiancé, should I attend her bridal shower? What is a bridal shower really for anyway?

A: The bridal shower is a time to celebrate the beginning of a new life, usually done showering the bride with gifts in celebration. I would consider discussing some of your concerns and questions with other loved ones and gain their insight; they are more directly involved and know the relationship between you and your aunt better than I do. If you don’t feel comfortable going to celebrate the new beginning your aunt is starting, I suggest not going to the bridal shower.

“This covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament.” (CCC, 1601) I think the difficulty you are having is that your aunt does not seem to recognize the dignity of this sacrament. Unfortunately for your aunt, since she is getting married outside of the Church, she is not going to have a sacramental marriage; she will have a legally binding marriage contract. God will still be present in their lives, but when marriage is between baptized persons He is directly connected with both people and their relationship, because He has bound them together. Whether or not you attend your aunt’s wedding should depend on whether or not you can go to the ceremony and show love for your aunt without supporting her actions. It is difficult, but this is a question that only you can answer.

Alex

Divorce Affect on Teens

Q: My parents have decided to get a divorce. I’ve been looking for information about the effect divorce has on teenagers and I haven’t found much. What should I expect?

A: In the world of global communication and Internet capabilities, there are a number of different useful web sites that deal with the effects of divorce on children and adolescents. The Better Divorce Network, offers an extensive list of different problems or situations you may find arise after your parents are divorced, including one parent moving far away, splitting holidays and birthdays between both parents, and the possibility of step-families.

Divorce is a very difficult situation to work through, for both the parents and their children (CCC, 2385). Difficult situations are like fingerprints; they’re different for every person. I would suggest talking to some of your other friends or classmates, or possibly finding an online chat room for teenagers who have gone through the same thing – although your experiences may not be the same, your friends may be able to offer some valuable insight into how to deal with your thoughts and emotions during this trying period.

Maureen D.

Kissing and Chastity

Q: I'm totally for following chastity, but is kissing as big a sin as premarital sex?

A: No, not even close. Sex is part of the sacrament of marriage, kissing is not. As long as it is not awakening sexual desire in either person, and there is no chance of going further, or thought of going further, a kiss won’t hurt.

Amanda

Waiting for Sex

Q: I have a boyfriend and we’re really close. We’ve talked about sex and I’m a bit tentative about it all. How do I convince him that we should wait until we’re married?

A: It’s not necessary for you to convince him, but talk with him and share why you made that decision. If your boyfriend really loves you, then he will respect your decision.

If he doesn’t want to wait, don’t let him put pressure on you and your commitment. You don’t want to keep yourself in tough situation. If he’s not going to respect your choice to do what’s right, then you need to end the relationship.

Jesus tells us that we need to wait (1 Cor. 6: 13, 18-20, and 1 Thess. 4:3), and with all the messages we are pounded with from society, it’s a good thing that He does. God created sex and it is sacred in marriage, but otherwise a sin.

Waiting until marriage protects both of you, not only from putting your eternal soul in danger, but from emotional and physical hurt. You can’t be sure that you will end up married and you could get pregnant. Those are some of the things that can happen, and the hurt won’t go away. The peace and joy that comes from a lifestyle of chastity is worth more than all of the pleasures of the world!

Sex is not just for when you think that you’re in love and you want to show it. It is a total giving of yourself, everything in your being. Real love allows you to wait, because real love can endure anything. “Love does not insist on its own way” (1 Cor. 13:5)

Amanda

Choosing to Overcome Temptation

Q: Why would God make some people gay and then tell them that they aren’t allowed to have an intimate relationship or marry? Isn’t that unfair?

A: First of all, we don’t know that God makes people gay. Whether or not God “makes” people gay is not the most important point to understand here because we don't know what causes homosexual tendencies in a person. There is no scientific evidence for it being a genetic trait; it could be a developmental issue.

I think the best way to understand this seemingly unfair problem is to realize that it’s really just another temptation in life. The important thing is that we can all choose how we act, and homosexuality is a temptation that people can choose to overcome.

Tom

To learn more about dealing with same-sex attraction, visit Courage's youth website.